what do you know about the abyss?
i was lying in bed, after meditating, one with my thoughts. i’d been wondering lately what has delayed my writing about the two years I was stuck in hell. universe has made it clear that i’m to write about it, so what gives? it’s been three almost four months i’ve been here on the mountain and i’ve written about everything with reckless abandon…
but not that.
i know i accept the assignment, so what’s up. the other day during a conversation, i got it, it came to me. that shit was and is scary. i now know without a doubt that the universe has my back, but it’s still scary. i think i’m waiting for a moment when it’s not so fresh in my memory. yea, that’s a fruitless endeavor, those memories will never leave me. that level of darkness is now a part of my being. i never understood and that’s what THIS is about.
we have no idea how pain feels to another. we can lovingly imagine, put ourselves in their shoes, empathize, sympathize but the essential point remains, only the person who is feeling the pain knows it’s depth, its palpable hold on the psyche, how it changes and rearranges our lives to accommodate itself. i thought I understood depression… come from a family where it runs rampant, been around it all my life but didn’t understand shit about it until I found myself locked in a doorless dark cave full of ALL of my nightmares, with not one hero/shero in sight.
so when a loved one tells you they are lost and frightened, err on the side of love. no one should have to face demons without some sort of support. not everyone is lying or exaggerating, and even if they are, seems to me they still need some love, attention, and help.
let’s top trying to ascertain another’s sincerity and just be love in action for them. not our job to figure everything out, the universe will take care of that, let’s just show up for each other.