betwixt the leaves

the world was abrasive, a sandstorm pelting my tender spirit. constantly cringing I retreated.  found my ticket to travel and explore other worlds, different dimensions, visit far off planets. i had a tribe, not just a family, but many homes where i belonged.
hannah gruen checked on me constantly, making sure i was safe and well taken care of.  carson drew loved and provided for me. fenton hardy always wanted me to visit. i had a crush on ned nickerson.  beth and george were my besties, with whom i could share everything. Image result for in between the pages of a book
i walked the moors with heathcliff, and cried with tess as she realized her place in the world.  i mourned with him for lenore and cringed at the sound of drip – drip – drip until it nigh drove me crazy.  i warned the working girls away from whitechapel.  i mourned when marmie took sick from taking food to the starving family down the road.  i too fell in love with laurie and wanted nothing more than to read quietly in the eaves with my worn but oh so cozy blanket and an apple.  i thought it unfair when amy and laurie got married, and jo was left to then mourn beth. 
when the ‘real world’ was too much to bear, i wished for the comfort of rivendell and knew that strider would protect me, for i was most definitely a long-lost descendant of galadrial. if wishing were fruitful, i would have been transported to the shire, and lived in a hobbit hole, with a round door, that had a knob in the middle of it.  i mourned with mathilde when she worked her beauty away paying back a diamond necklace that was nothing but paste.  i cried when della and jim traded their most priceless objects for nothing and everything. 
i spent countless hours on the alps with the grandfather. i tasted the fresh goats milk and climbed the stairs to the little sleeping space complete with a most comfortable bed made from hay.  I visited peter’s grandmother, who was going blind, and was taken away to become a companion to adeline.  i wasted away waiting for the grandfather to rescue me. i left the city with the swiss family robinson, and lived in the wild, finding a freedom i hadn’t known existed.  i bawled when carton went to the guillotine, a human sacrifice for love and viva la france.
i could go on for days and never ever write of all the wondrous things i’ve seen and felt. i believe it’s part of the reason i choose to embrace everything so vibrantly. casting all doubts to hell, i decided to jump off the edge and bare me.  if these magnificent worlds were created, then in some dimension reserved for the imaginings of writers, they exist. i decided to live, really live and make my existence an amazing tale of tragedy, adventure, love, suspense, but of course with a happy ending.
i never even got to the fairy tales, fantasy, sci fi, mythology, theology.. smh.  wow.  i could write a book about books.  

Published by: Shanti Shaharazade

Told to write it all down, I do, finally. It took me from 1991 to now, to surrender to Universe/God/dess (insert name of choice) and to embrace this path with my soul wide open. I love sharing all of my journey with young people to demonstrate that it is possible to choose the light constantly even when face to face with your own darkness. I've used a variety of tools to shed ego's protective barriers like onion layers. I am determined to share the journey, tools and encouragement, being the change I want in the world. If something resonates, touches you, please share, it could do the same for another. Also feel free to share your thoughts, opinions or to voice your disagreement, all points of view are welcome and appreciated, at worst we can agree to disagree. Thank you for stopping by!!! Sat Nam


2 thoughts on “betwixt the leaves”

  1. YES YES YES!!!!!! I have shared the same feelings as you through many of those books. I have found myself through books all my life…it has been years since I have read anything cover to cover….note to self…take up reading again!

    The 2 that stand out most for me here are Lord of the Rings; my father read those to me starting when I was 4 years old. All fantasy material is judged against JRR Tolkein’s work for me. The Shire and Rivendale are my two most safest places to go in my head. Little Women….I will never ever forget how that book made me feel. Jo is my girl!


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