I realized this morning writing in my journal, after completing my 20/20/20 that the biggest disappointment I ever felt was the day I choose to buy into the story. The day I let me down, by laughing at the joke I never found funny, or pretending to make fun of someone even though my heart was aching for them and for the real me.
Every disappointment the world has offered me after that was just a mirror of a deeper hurt. The one where I hid myself under layers of bullshit. I’ve never ‘hated’ the real me… I hated the facades. I hated pretending… I also took this disappointment out on those who loved my bullshit self. I hated those who wanted me to be fake.
I allowed this madness to continue until it all fell apart. Something inside me broke and the masks pooled around my feet, shattered… they existed no more.
I was left naked.
And now begins the greatest journey I have ever undertaken… back to my innate self.
Now, I can be of service.
Now, I can shine unapologetically.