embrace it to erase it

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Why are we taught to reject our sadness?  Is it not, too, a part of us? Isn’t my sadness a process, an emotion to be heeded and embraced?  If I resist that part of the journey, won’t it then persist?? I think I/ we must embrace it to erase it. 

Christmas has always filled me with contrary emotions.  I’ve not thoroughly enjoyed and been excited about Christmas since my children were still amazed by Santa’s constant generosity.  Christmas can be a hellova trigger for dysfunctional families and their offspring…

Except for one amazing Xmas. 

One. 

I got a crazy, magical miracle… I think it was 2011.  The stuff that ‘the Hallmark Channel’ dreams are made of.  I remember thinking, this is awesome, during the entire party.  There were kids everywhere, but it was amazing.  Everyone genuinely liked or loved each other and it was extremely palpable.   Prolific memories were made that night. We had no idea how priceless those memories would be, then. 

Fast forward to last year: first Xmas I ever spent alone.  Whoa!  You would think that a grown woman would have nary an issue with that, but au contraire… it was a learning experience…  

Present:  So very grateful have survived everything, but most recently tempestuous Maria, and am surrounded by loved ones, safe, choosing health, ready to take on the home stretch towards my degree… and yet I feel sad…

Wth?? Then I thought about it… I DO feel sad, and I’m okay with it. I accept, nay embrace my sadness.  I lost my cousin/bestie this year… that is reason enough to be grieving, and yet there was more… but what I do know is this.

By accepting my sadness, I let all layers of my existence know ‘I love me’ and I get that… how grateful am I?  I know that I’m a spiritual being here having a human experience ripe with powerful and messy emotions… yay!!!  I survived Maria!!! YAY!!!!!   I’m around two of my gorgeous grandpeeps for Xmas.  My daughter just got her dream job… I have amazing universal siblings…

And…

Yes, it’s okay for me to feel sadness. It’s not selfish, it’s real, authentic, messy, and human. I can be uber-grateful and sad at the same time.  It’s not okay that we <as a collective> have been taught to care more about what others perceive our emotions to be than what they actually signify. :sighs: I’m fixing (excavating) the goddess in the mirror cuz that’s all I can do.  One step at a time, feeling what I feel, honoring every damn aspect of me.  Yea, I think that’s the main ingredient in clearing the path for divine to use us as conduits.  Letting it all rise, seeing it with almost a sense of interested detachment… realizing how little control we really do have. Trusting that it will all work out… 

Yea… I’m good… we’re good… we got this.

One tiny step at a time…

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Published by: the hood hippy

Told to write it all down, I do, finally. It took me from 1991 to now, to surrender to Universe/God/dess (insert name of choice) and to embrace this path with my soul wide open. I love sharing all of my journey with young people to demonstrate that it is possible to choose the light constantly even when face to face with your own darkness. I've used a variety of tools to shed ego's protective barriers like onion layers. I am determined to share the journey, tools and encouragement, being the change I want in the world. If something resonates, touches you, please share, it could do the same for another. Also feel free to share your thoughts, opinions or to voice your disagreement, all points of view are welcome and appreciated, at worst we can agree to disagree. Thank you for stopping by!!! Sat Nam

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